I’ve been reading Mama Gena’s Guide to the Womanly Arts and most of the material is familiar. I’ve heard about it in reading Jerry & Esther Hicks’ Law of Attraction and probably every other self help book that I’ve picked up.
The thing they are all trying to get us to do is simple: say yes to ourselves. That’s all. Bottom line. Simply and purely. One thing. Say yes to ourselves. Between ourselves and the yes is all our baggage and our opinions. All our conditioning. There it is, we know it’s there. We spend thousands (if we’re lucky enough to have them) on every class, therapy and ‘experience’ we can to overcome them and the resistance they create. And I do mean WE. I am guilty as charged.
And here I am, still trying to overcome the resistance. What is it? Why do I and so many people limit themselves from embracing their heart’s desire? This question has plagued me all my life. What is it? Why is it so powerful?
And the answer to the dilemma is: We hold our opinion in higher priority than the messages from our hearts. What we think about it, our opinion, doesn’t matter. When we can release the importance of our opinion, we can say yes to our hearts. It is as simple as that.
Of course, the key is being able to sense what is in my heart versus my mind. It sounds easy, but is it? Is that desire for that almond croissant in my mind or in my heart? At the time, it sure feels like my heart is longing for it. Imagining the pleasure I’ll receive from eating it … mmmm.
But is that my heart? My heart longs to be active, to create, to exercise, to feel the strength of my body … and eating almond croissants on a regular basis is not going to fulfill my heart’s desire for health and a fulfilled life.
So … I have always said that healing comes with awareness. The mind is a trickster. It has controlled us for so long that we are unaccustomed to being aware of the messages from our hearts.
So, this morning as I was watching Jaques Pepin make berries with pastry creme and lobster rolls, thinking about how much I love to create with food and gee, maybe I should go to culinary school. And then also remembering that I am not so physically able to do anything quite so strenuous right now. All this made me kind of sad. Mama Gena’s playfulness came through my heart. And I asked myself, what does my heart want?
Simple answer, my heart wants an active and fulfilled life. (Details on what that is later.)
How can I embrace an active and fulfilled life in my current physical state? (Details on that later.)
What is the PRIORITY here? MY HEALTH. Pure and simple. I can’t achieve my dreams with my body in its current condition. So first and foremost, I must dedicate as much energy as is required to get my health where it needs to be. Once I have the tools, then I can pursue a dream. It may be culinary school, it may not. First things, first.
I know what to do to regain my health. I’ve been studying these things for years. And, for sure, my health has improved quite a bit from where I started. Here’s what I’ve got to work with:
Basically healthy: Cholesterol levels good. Blood sugar normal. Blood pressure 110/70. Genius IQ. Lots of friends. Lifetime student of mindfulness and personal growth. Bone density strong. Love to bicycle, walk and swim (when able). Organic diet since Whole Foods opened. Great cook. Physically active most of my adult life (until about 2005).
The downside: Ultra high levels of lead toxicity from eating off lead glazed plates for over 20 years – discovered in 2007. The consequences of the lead (my opinion based on educating myself): asthma, allergies, rheumatoid arthritis, memory loss, hypo-thyroid and fatigue. Other issues include: obesity (mostly my doing), bulging discs in neck and lower back, and sub-arachnoid cyst at the brain stem (completely benign).
The problem: The fatigue and arthritis limit my physical activity, so I can’t exercise as much as I would like. I can exercise, however. I go to yoga once a week and ride my bike as much as I can. Christopher was kind enough to set it up in the basement for me this week so that I can start using it every day. (I just need to remember my heart’s desire and let that fuel my motivation!)
This week I began a 30 day detox program that I designed based on my expertise, experiences and reading. I’m really glad to be detoxifying again. The first time I did it, the rheumatoid factor in my blood dropped by about 10%. I lost 20 pounds and the pain levels decreased by about 50%. I am a big advocate of detoxification. It works. It can be emotionally challenging and I don’t like that part. But so what? It’s only my opinion. Sometimes the detox is emotionally exhilarating and I like that. Again, but so what?
The truth is that the program takes me closer to my heart’s desire. I need a healthy body to do what I dream of. I need more energy to accomplish my goals.
And so it is. Starting today and every day after this, I begin the day by finding a way to connect with my heart and it’s desire to live an active and fulfilled life. For the past week or so, I have been saying to myself: It is my dominant intention to see only that which I am wanting, which pleases me and moves me to my heart’s desire.
Today it is starting to manifest. Thank you God. I also make a habit of feeling grateful for all that pleases me, that fulfills my heart’s desire to living an active and fulfilled life.